April 20, 2012 – Thank you, Theodore Geisel

I was sitting in my kitchen late Thursday night, questioning a little bit the point of this place, this blog.   This blog was designed (and I use the word ‘designed’ very loosely!) with the intent of trying to make myself better aware of just how wonderful life is.   No more, no less.  It’s quite simply a gratitude journal. 

You see, this isn’t me trying to tell you how to live or how to think or what to say-   funny enough, it’s far more selfish than that.   It has very little to do with anyone other than me.    Maybe it should be more in depth, discreetly suggestive, … making you wonder if it’s really not all about me after all.   But it’s not.   98% of the time I’m just here, journaling about my goodness and about my efforts to find peace and recognize blessings, if you will.    The actions or reactions of others may have helped me to come to whatever place I do each day, certainly, but it’s not about anyone else at all – I promise.   It’s just me… trying to be the best me that I can be.  

So, back to Thursday night. 

I wondered to myself as I sat on my kitchen table thinking I’d never write here again… why then on a blog?   If it’s really all about me, then why not in a journal tucked into a dresser drawer somewhere?   Why blog it, where it can be really, publicly read?

Really, the answer to that is twofold.   One is that very few people are going to read this just because it’s public-  there’s far more well written and interesting things to read online than my gratitude journal, or any blog I could write for that matter.  Second,  I am not even remotely ‘advertising’ this to people.   Because it’s personal.  And it took a lot of courage.  And sometimes I say the eff word.   And to some none of that is flattering.  And really… because again, -  it’s just about me.

So while I was drinking more wine than I should have and wondering if I should ever write again and questioning all the decisions I was making in my life and worrying about how I was coming off here and elsewhere to others, I looked up and saw this chair in the corner of my kitchen.   

I guess you could call it an art project - my kids and I did this one sunny afternoon two years ago now, while my grandfather was dying 600 miles away.    The kids were smaller and both at home with me and I was so sad and confused and unsure of what to do with myself, dealing with the impending loss of someone so important to me.   It was then that I got up, got them dressed and grabbed some paints.   The three of us went to the front yard, turned some music on loud, took most of the furniture from our kitchen into the front yard and had some “art therapy”.   And I’m glad… because it was this same art therapy, so to speak, that spoke to me on Thursday night.   Painted onto the back of my kitchen chair was this….

 “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” – Dr. Suess

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And just like that… with my painted kitchen chair -… I decided to keep on writing.  

~K

April 19, 2012- Step by Step

"Wow, Mama,  you be the best builder ever!"  

This comment came from my four year old son as I painstakingly built his one million part matchbox race car set this afternoon.  

You see, after we opened it and after I realized I had gotten myself into something far more than I had intended with this set, I began to break the news to him that we should probably wait until his daddy came home to finish this project.  

But then, the look in his eyes instantly showed his disappointment, upon which I knew what must be done.  I changed my afternoon plans and hunkered down with pages of directions and nothing more than the will to somehow or other turn these little baggies full of plastic parts and sheets of coordinating stickers eventually into something that resembled a race track.

And it was then, as things were starting to take form, that he leaned over, hugged me and offered the above compliment.... and funny enough, it was then too, that I'd forgotten what my previous afternoon plans were after all.

~K

April 18, 2012- Estrogen

An evening with intelligent, interesting, beautiful,
funny, honest women and a bottle of wine.

Combine this with a husband and children who encourage
me to enjoy this goodness.

And you have me ... a very lucky girl.

~K

April 17, 2012 - I Spy

This is the view from my front door today.   If you look closely you will see what the camera didn't pick up as well as I'd like but is crystal clear on my glass.   Do you see it?  Four little sun screened hand prints, about 3 feet up from the floor.   

Can you imagine what I did when I found these there next to a wet bathing suit clad boy?

If your guess is kiss that baby boy, take a photo and most definitely not clean the glass... then you're right. 

Moments in time today.

April 16, 2012- Happy Birthday

My kids and I sat around the breakfast table today and
called to sing happy birthday to my grandmother.

We then passed the phone around between my husband
and I and then to my children -  we watched while they
giggled and laughed with and sang to their great grandmother.

To say that I don't understand what a true privilege and
blessing it is for all of us to have this experience would
be an understatement.

I'm so grateful for moments like these.

Happy Birthday, Nana!  We love you.

April 15, 2012

Three things cannot long be hidden; the sun, the moon and the truth. ~ Buddha

Love this quote.  So true.  And... look who's adding photos!  
~K

April 14, 2012 - What to say?

It's been soooo long since I've written.  Not here or over here even. 

Lots of little reasons.  Yet no good reasons.  Life getting busy.  Staying busy.
New Mac that I can't upload pics with or copy too much.   Note to self
to do the tutorials.  

Since I've last written, the tulip tree has bloomed and then frosted and
fallen, cutting the season shorter than I like.   The grass has turned from
brown to green, and our garden has been planted.   I watch the birds
from my feeders each morning and smile as they play in the yard in
pairs.   The dogwood sprouted buds and petals and is now lush and full.

Grandparents have visited and times have been wonderful.  We played
and laughed and shared and loved.   Recently, we were so blessed with
a team of medical doctors in the right place at the right time utilizing their
talent and skill in such a way to preserve what is most precious to us.  And
what more to be grateful for than this?

The kids are thriving and learning, both in and out of their classroom and
we are focusing on doing just that, - focusing - here more.  We have become
softball and tee ball parents and though my backside gets sore, I've found
that sitting on metal bleachers in the sun watching my sweet children is a
wonderful way to spend a spring afternoon.

A week away in the mountains was exactly what we needed (if I knew
how to post pictures, I'd have a weeks supply of amazing views and
plenty of little smiles... give me a minute and I'll get it figured out)

So much has been happening and so much to be thankful for.   I'm here
as an April resolution to be here more- to remember how wonderful
this space is and how valid it is in taking note of all that is good in our life.

The first night of our mountain trip, I looked around at this amazing life
we have created, with healthy, thriving children and a loving home... and
like the lyrics of a song I enjoy, the chorus came to me as so appropriate-

"I could not ask for more..."

And that was it-  life is too good.  So much to be grateful for.  I intend to
take note of that more often.