July 29, 2011 – Swimming

It’s been an overwhelming week.   Lots of unexpected added to an already bursting at the seams to do list.   I’ve been doing it solo as my husband had to leave town (Disclaimer:  he’s back now too, just in case there’s creepers out there in the internet world… he’s back in the house and in case you doubt this, know I have two tasers, police grade mace with a 90 foot range, an 80 pound dog and 2 shotguns.)  Just so you know.   Oops.  Back to Peace of Mind.  Because for a moment there, you saw a little MFP and ‘she’ rarely makes appearances here. ;)

It’s been an overwhelming week and he has been gone.   I’ve had the kids on my own, construction work in the home, a work schedule of my own, appointments to keep, no babysitters, etc.   Not to mention my son refused to urinate for the first 3-4 hours of his daddy’s absence in protest.   And my daughter slept on top of me just about the entire time he was gone due to mysterious ‘spider bites’ developing on her torso.  Even the dog, who is usually a general fool anyway upped her ante.  I found her twice today standing, all 80 pounds on top of the outdoor glass table, barking into the sky at who knows what.  

It’s. been. an. overwhelming. week.

We walked into get some dinner tonight and I looked at my kids following alongside of me.  Neither have been bathed in 3 days.   (I’m an everyday- you –must- bathe -kind of parent)  I looked at my daughter.   Her forehead has a golf ball sized bruise, rainbow in color, she’s missing a front tooth and she was chewing on the side of her hair, which looked as though it may be starting to dreadlock.   (I’m usually a let’s have coordinating hair ties to dress to shoes kind of parent)   My son was sitting on the asphalt of a parking lot whining and waiting for me to lift him.

I began to laugh.  

Look at us, guys!   What would your daddy say?    Well, I’m sure he’d just have to understand that we’re doing all we can to keep our head above water here this week, don’t you think?

My daughter, who is far older than her barely 7 years and far smarter than me, took her hair out of her mouth and smiled.

What are you talking about, mommy?   There’s no water here and we don’t have to keep our heads above it.   Heck, we’re not even swimming!

Sure, she’s a kid and she was taking my words literally and being funny.   But her point resonated far deeper within me.

We’re not even swimming.

She’s right.   Perspective.   Our life is fine.  Fabulous even.   I’ve had friends helping, a roof over my head, extra money to take them to dinner, healthy babies curled around me each night, a wonderful husband returning safe and sound and sunshine filling my days.

We’re not even swimming.

That’s the truth.  Absolutely.

~K

July 28, 2011- Precious Treasures

Last night, on the edge of my bathtub, I neatly placed  four small seashells.  One my daughter found and it’s a perfect circular cream.   I watched, several days ago, as she sat, in her new purple suit deep in the sand and took her time, a trait which doesn’t come easily to her, searching out and finding seashell treasures to bring to me, this being one of them.  The second treasure on my bathtub, my son discovered,  and though it’s not much more than beach rock,  it’s a gorgeous smoky gray in color and every time I look at it, I remember his face as he held it proudly in his hardly anymore baby hands, passing it over to me with a proud smile.   The third, scalloped shell, I took from the top of a sand castle my boy and I made together and remember the wonderful time we had, just the two of us, buried into our ankles and imagining the sand city we were creating.   And the last was an unflawed spiral I found as the four of us walked hand in hand off of the beach together, content and full of sun, sand and love.

They are my seashell treasures, sitting on the side of my bathtub.   They are not in a dish, nor organized in any particular way.  Perhaps someday I will.  Or not.  For now, they sit.   Tiny and precious treasures, serving as the memories of a beautiful day together.

~K

July 27, 2011- Looking out my window

I see all that makes me happy.   Crystals she spent her ‘very own’ money on, waiting to grow in plastic containers and being carefully monitored each day.   They sit next to  painted rocks that are lined along the window’s ledge like matchbox cars, colorful and reminding me of an early summer lunch with chinese take out ,stone painting and my babies.  Through the glass, are the rainbow birdhouses we carefully crafted over an old sheet while music played in the front yard in early spring.   Hanging next to the homes are the feeders he graciously refills for us each week without complaint so that we may watch and identify our feathered friends as they play and frolic while we eat together below.

Some may call it clutter… but to me, looking out of my window  are all of  my beautiful, peaceful favorites.

~K

July 26, 2011- Lessons Learned

Note:  I am behind on posts.   I started this post about a week ago, but wanted to take my time… process it a bit before posting as it was important to me.    Unfortunately, my husband’s grandmother, passed away last night, before I was able to publish this post.  Regardless, I still think it has a place here, and now especially, today.  
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My husband’s grandmother was placed in a nursing home just a few weeks ago.  She is 95 years old and dying.   She knows this.
What I didn’t know is what is to follow….
When we arrived, Grandma was sitting up in bed and began by quickly asking me where the children were.  It was important for her to see them.   We had not brought them, I mumbled,  apologetically, for, really, we were unsure of what condition she would be in when we got there.
Next, she told us that she was disappointed she had not been bathed before we arrived.   She explained to me that she had her outfit ready to wear, “see it at the end of the bed, honey?” when we came and we should really see her in it because “it’s just darling and I was waiting for you to come to wear it… mint green, with ruffles on the wrists and the ankles.”
It didn’t take long before we realized she was still in complete control of things and that she was going to tackle death just as she had everything else in her life… head on and her way.   And with a positivity that began to awe me.  So…
We sat and talked for some time and then I left.  -  To get the children, of course.   And to give her a minute to get changed.   Sure enough, she was right, -  the outfit was darling and most definitely a ‘must see’.
When I arrived back, children in tow, she was a little sleepy, but woke up, asked me to raise her bed and then she asked my daughter, her great granddaughter, to please sing for her.   Later, I heard she spoke with joy about the two bars of ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and of how beautiful it sounded.    She let my son enjoy the mechanical remote for her bed, never flinching, but only smiling as he raised her up… and down… and up again, learning how the device worked.
Sure enough, she was dressed in her mint green and though a little distraught I couldn’t see the ankle ruffles under the blanket, assured me they were there.   I brought magazines and flowers and we talked for just a few more moments.   She kissed both children tenderly and before we left I saw her holding them close and memorizing their faces, her strong but aged hands wrapped tightly around their baby cheeks.  
Last, I lifted her up gently behind her back and added an extra pillow beneath her head, lowered her bed back down and kissed her softly.   She apologized for ‘getting drowsy’ on us and explained it was a medication that was affecting her ability to be as alert as she’d like.  
I walked out, hand in hand with my children and with a different feeling in my heart.  Grandma and I both knew it was the last visit for us all, yet the lessons weren’t over.   This is a woman who has outlived two husbands…. she understands strength.   She was extremely lucid and certainly knew the reality of the day, yet had one more thing to not tell, but to show me-   No matter what you are facing, find the positive.   In this case it was a mint green ruffle.   Also, - savor each moment, whether it be the sounds of a child’s voice or a familiar face.   Finally, - stay strong, know when to let go and when it is that time, be peaceful in your process.

Thank you for the lessons, Grandma.   May you rest in peace.

~K

July 25, 2011- Gratitude

I went to a yoga class tonight where the focus was on gratitude.   What I love so much about yoga is, first, I leave feeling 100 times better than I entered… every time.   And then, I love that if you open yourself up to it (and thus anything), there is something to be learned always.  

Below is the quote our instructor referred to several times during class.   I have been thinking of it since and knew this was where I would share it as soon as I heard her share it.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

~William Arthur Ward

Enjoy ~

~K

July 24, 2011- Sandcastles and Waves

Sandcastles…

with this special little boy.

Riding the waves hand in hand …

with this beautiful little girl.

Beautiful moments.  Forever memories.

~K

July 23, 2011- Day trip

It will never get old.  Or familiar.   Or ordinary.

I will always appreciate this.

~K

July 22, 2011- Seven

Seven years ago my life changed forever.

I am so grateful.

~K

July 21, 2011- Our Garden of Sunflowers

~K

July 20, 2011- Memories

I have so many memories on this beautiful land in the middle of nowhere.

Much of my childhood was spent here.   I knew every divot in the ground, every bush with a prickle, every curve in a trail, every fish in the pond.

It was my beautiful open space.   It was where the air was quiet and clean, where I could ride with the wind in my face and the sweet wet smell of the trails in the mist.   It was where my childhood lived.  

I love going back here.   And I love now even more sharing it and reliving it with these two wonders of my life.

~K

July 19, 2011- Picture Perfect

~K

July 18, 2011- Picture Perfect

~K

July 17, 2011- My fisherman

Some pictures will be etched in my memory forever and this is one.

I wish I could freeze time.   Life moves on far too fast for me.

I can’t freeze time, but I did freeze this moment that I will go back to over and over… remembering my big fisherman, this little bluegill and my boy’s beautiful smile full of happiness, wonder and pride.

~K

July 16, 2011- Birthday Wishes

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.  ~Washington Irving

Thank you, Mom.   Happy Birthday to You. 

~K

July 15, 2011- A Handful of Cousins

This will always make me smile.

~K

July 14, 2011- A Grandma’s Love

My daughter.   Her grandmother.  

At the end of the day, this is really what it’s all about.

May they each always feel such love.

~K

July 13, 2011- Dusk

No words.   Just a moment.

~K

July 12, 2011- Generations

Lots of time this week with lots of generations.

If you’re ever fortunate enough to be in the room with four generations of your family… take it in.  Drink it up.  It’s one of those rare moments in time to appreciate and to notice.

~K

July 11, 2011- Just because…

Just because…

when you’re a kid, holding hands and singing in a circle songs about posies before falling down in uncontrollable laughter on top of one another is perfectly acceptable, genuine, fun.

When do we change?

~K

July 10, 2011- Ten little Piggies

Nothing more.  Just that.

Moments to make me smile.

~K

July 6, 2011- Sisters

A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double.  ~Toni Morrison

Happy 32nd Birthday to my sweet sister today-  I thought this quote by such another fantastic woman was perfect.   We couldn’t be more different, and yet, as she says…. somehow and someway, we are also very much the same.

Love to you-  Have a wonderful year… there’s so much good in store!

xo

~K

July 5, 2011- Courage

At the start of the summer, this little girl barely swam.  She could make her way around a pool, but that’s about it.   A week before summer vacation, after we’d already joined a pool close to our neighborhood (without a swim team), she announced out of the blue she’d like to swim on a team.  

She seemed serious, like she was sharing with us something she’d been thinking of but was afraid to share.   We followed her lead and took her serious.

I spent the next two days finding a pool that had a swim team and trying to finagle with our original choice of a summer pool club any way to get our money already paid (and cashed in) refunded.   It seemed wild that I was following a comment from this little girl and going through so much hassle,  but a good friend encouraged me to keep at it, reminded me that our role as parents is to help our children find what it is that makes their hearts soar, – to expose them to all that we can and to let them take off.  

I got our money back, joined another swim club with a swim team and within 24 hours purchased her a pair of goggles and was driving 25 minutes away with my new member of a swim team.

This picture marks her last swim meet.   She swam in three races.  Two were above her age group.   She wasn’t the best and it was never easy, but she did it and did it well.   

This barely swimmer had the courage to follow a desire in her little heart.   She went to practice every single day without ever a complaint and swam in every meet.   She has learned so much and has grown so much in the last six weeks.  She became stronger, more confident, and perhaps most importantly… she is so very proud of herself.

So many moments this summer… this wonderful one taught us all a lesson.

~K

July 4, 2011- Fourth of July

Late this morning, we decided to do dinner with friends.   Just a quick a potluck dinner with two couples and their kids…

Last minute plans.   Nothing was over the top or wild and crazy, but everything was fun.

Kids, sparklers, grilling, sidewalk chalk, sprinklers, water guns, flags, families, fireworks, and so much fun.

Last minute plans- turning out to be the best laid plans.

Happy Fourth of July~

K

July 3, 2011 – A day on the water…

A day on the water with family.

Accepting and loving and fun.

Making memories and laughing too much

Watching the days fade and the children grow.

F ully aware.  Loving and appreciating the moments and enjoying each other’s company with no worries or expectations or judgments.

Just being.  

In the warm air.  

With the wind and the water and the sky and the kids and the summer…..

And each of us knowing.  Just how very special it all is.

~K

July 2, 2011- Happiness

I don’t know what I have ever done to deserve this kind of happiness in my day to day life….

But I am forever grateful.

~K

July 1, 2011- Halfway

Today is July 1.   For some reason, and I don’t know if it’s accurate or not, today marks halfway through the summer.

That in and of itself is so mind boggling to me.   It makes me sad because it’s going too fast for me…

But then I remember to my initial goal for the summer and I know that I am staying true to it.  We have spent each day together and have filled them with love and happiness.   In the beginning of the summer, you’ll remember that I vowed to do my best each day to enjoy them where they are, love them far more than necessary and appreciate every moment our hot sweaty summer days together.

Halfway point. 

Done.  For sure.

And with that… let’s keep going-  there’s only good to come!

~K

June 30, 2011 – Snippets

Perhaps the stars are aligning….perhaps it was sheer luck (or should I say shear luck)… perhaps I shouldn’t care what it was (and I don’t) and just be thankful.  

Today-  at the last minute I found a babysitter.

Today- at the last minute I found two hours.

Today- at the last minute I found an appointment with a hairdresser.

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That’s it.   A wonderful two hours not tending to anyone or anything.   Knowing the kids were safe and fine and finding a quick moment to add myself to my list of things to do.

Did.  And Done.

~K

June 28, 2011- Little Moments…

Little moments…  like these…. interspersed into the busyness of my days….

Reminding me that all of the busyness is really nothing but good.

~K

June 27, 2011 – Monday

monday.

a fresh new week.

ready to go.

with responsibilities and accountabilities.

farewell to the weekend and it’s luxuries.

take a running start.  and a deep breath.

smile for the ability to begin again.

~K

June 26, 2011- Wonder

Wonder.

Discovery.

Curiosity.

All of that.   And then some.

~K

June 25, 2011- Sisters

Lots of wonderful moments and happy memories.

Beaches.  Dancing.  Laughing.  Sunset.  History.  Family.  Surprises.  Fun.

~K

June 24, 2011- Suprises

I love surprises.

I love the smile and the excitement and the way it feels to make someone else just. that. happy.

Look at that face.

Surprise!

~K

June 23, 2011 – Joy

While at a swim meet waiting to swim, children were sitting in groups, snacking and visiting among each other.   Others warmed up in the corner of the pool area.  And yet others fanned themselves off, trying to fend away the bugs and the oppressive heat.

All the while, this sweet child of mine decided to seize the moment and run through the fields, twirling happily around and around in circles with her arms spread wide, ….stopping only to pick the flowers.

 

I love her joy.  It is true and innocent and pure and  I love being included in the same space as it… for it reminds me to also be better.

~K