My son is sick. He is just little. But he’s going
to be just fine.
That’s the bottom line here today and what I am the most genuinely grateful for. It is all that matters at the end of a day.
He’s had a cold for a couple of weeks. It seemed to be lingering. We have insurance and it’s a minimal co-pay and so on Friday I took him to the doctor, just to be on the safe side. Probably overreacting, I thought.
‘I think it’s just a cold’…. the pediatrician told me. She then proceeded to hand me a paper prescription, ‘just in case it looks like it’s turning into a sinus infection over the weekend. But I really think he’s going to be just fine.’
I left, with a peace of mind, feeling just a tad bit silly at overreacting. I hastily folded the paper script, threw it into the bottom of my purse and went on with my weekend.
The weekend came and went. It seemed she was right and his cold was getting better. His nose wasn’t runny at all anymore! No fever, chills, vomiting…. all very good signs by anyone’s checklist. Lots of coughing though. Lots and lots of coughing. I dug out the paper prescription, filled it and started it just in case. Something still didn’t feel right. I call the on call nurse, available to me 24 hours a day through my pediatrician’s office.
“Coughing is good,” she sweetly tells me over the phone. “Please remember to wash your children’s hands and use lysol around the home. He’ll be fine… it’s just the end of the cold, I believe.”
The nagging in my gut persisted. Today I took him back in, and for a minimal co-pay it was worth me again, surely overreacting, but thankfully, getting one more go to look with the doc.
We waited patiently. She listened to my baby’s chest. I could see a look of, while not panic, certainly concern come over her face.
“Walking pneumonia.” she said matter of factly. “There’s a serious infection in his lungs. He’s going to be just fine and you’ve seen the worst of it. It’s a really good thing you started him on the antibiotic 2 days ago. This is really what has made the difference.”
A good mom, right? I knew something was wrong and now my baby will be safe. Ta-da!
I went to bed comfortable in this thought and the most grateful for the bottom line- my baby could have been far more seriously ill at this point and rather, he will be just fine now.
It’s hardly a ‘good mom’ though. Lots of people would be okay thinking this and taking the credit. But this is where I believe they are so genuinely wrong. The truth of it is that I am a good mom with an exceptional support system.
I wondered as I tossed and turned in the bed… those two ‘overreacting’ doctor visits, which cost me a grand total of $30.00 in co-pays,…. I wonder if I would have had to pay out of pocket what these would have cost, if I would have been as proactive or if I’d have either chosen or forced to choose to take a ‘wait and see’ approach.
A wait and see approach would have my boy in a hospital bed tonight and rather, he’s tucked in sweetly sleeping… healing… dreaming… in his footed car pajamas.
I wonder what ‘choice’ I would have made. My heart knows the answer and it terrifies me.
While I am so beyond grateful tonight that my baby is safe, my heart breaks for the other ‘good moms’ who can’t afford to overreact when their gut instinct tells them that perhaps they should.
We need to think about health care. It shouldn’t be about this. We should all have the ability to take care of all of our babies…. not just the ones in car pajamas whose ‘good moms’ have good insurance.
Food for thought- for today….
~K
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