I dropped my five year old off to school this morning for the first day back after Spring Break. She was excited to be returning to school. Before she got out of my car, I gave her my daily reminder- slow down, walk into school, remember not to yell when you want to talk… just breathe and relax a bit, sweetie. She reminds me of my dad. And his dad. Fast moving… loud. A little much sometimes, for people to take. A ‘bull in a china shop’ I believe is the term her teacher has used lovingly… but seriously.
And so, back to the carpool line this morning. I gave her the morning reminder and she got out of the car. In one ear and out the other, she must have immediately forgot and looked up at the car, yelled back at me “don’t forget reservations!! You and me tonight, mom! Got it?!?” I was stifling laughter but motioning ‘shhh!"’ through the window in response. She smiled, gave me a thumbs up and then took off -- running!
There she went … barreling down the walkway, the only child running. I saw it. She was running straight towards a tiny little child, just getting out of her parent’s car. The little girl was probably about 3 years old, her hair tussled in the back, having just been roused from bed. She was holding the hand of the school guidance counselor and was obviously much more skeptical about returning to school after the break than my bundle of happy energy. She was precious and she was carefully and hesitantly walking, looking back over her shoulder at her parent’s car pulling away, holding tightly to the hand of the trusted adult next to her.
And here came my girl. Barreling down…my little pigtailed bull. Full. Speed. Ahead. Time went to slow motion. I had my window down behind her yelling for her to w-a-l-k. She was in another place, not hearing me, excited about kindergarten. And she got to the little girl. Lo and behold, she didn’t run into her! She ran right past her!
Then she stopped. She turned around and walked back to the child.
I slowed my car and watched, though she didn’t know I was watching. I saw the principal, the school nurse, and the guidance counselor also stop and watch what was happening, confused, wondering themselves.
My daughter walked up to the little girl’s face. And she smiled and waved. A second wave. No response, it seemed from my angle. Not to worry, she smiled at her again, took her hand, and walked into the school with her.
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I smiled. That’s my girl. I watched the principal and all the others standing outside smile as the two little girls now hand in hand, marched happily into school this morning.
If I teach her nothing at all… if she never learns to slow down or talk in a normal volume. I will be okay. Because, what I have learned and especially reflected upon lately is it’s not what you do when people are watching, it is what you do when you don’t know people are watching. It’s not what you say, it’s how you act. You actions will speak louder and last longer than anything you could ever say.
And when my sweet girl didn’t think I was watching this morning, she made me very proud to see her put into play what she knows to be right. She was caring and kind. She had empathy for another human being struggling. She was a good friend and a good person. And then again, she reminded me of my dad. Of his dad. She comes from generations of ‘bulls in china shops’. Louder than most. Faster than most. And kinder than most, especially when no one is watching.
My day was complete. All of this at 7:14am.
~K
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